Are Your Finances in Order

One of my main concerns when I was finally ready to leave, was would I make it financially?  I did not do any of the bills and I had no clue what was in our bank accounts. So I contacted one of my friends Chett Daniel and asked him to write this next blog for me. He knows what he is talking about so please listen.

Congratulations on taking your life back. However your relationship went from wedded bliss to divorce is really not important, the fact is you came to realize you could not continue in your life being as happy as you deserve with the person you married. So, you took an incredible leap of courage and decided to get a divorce. Many women will not ever take this step, even though they are extremely unhappy because they are afraid of leaving the security of a certain life style, or they just don’t know what life will be like on the other side of divorce. One of the biggest concerns for women prior to a divorce is, “Will I be able to make it financially?” With some careful planning on your part and the same determination it took to get your life back the answer is yes.

If you haven’t gotten a divorce yet, but know that it is nearly certain, get involved with your finances. In many relationships only one spouse deals with the finances of the house. The other person is oblivious to how much money is coming in each month and what each month’s liabilities are. Many times the spouse who isn’t involved in finances are unaware of investment accounts that are held and the balance of savings accounts. If you realize this applies to you, begin getting involved with your daily finances and become aware of your overall financial picture.

Many women who go through a divorce previously made the sacrifice to stay at home and raise children. In many cases stay at home moms feel as though they lose or do not develop marketable job skills that will allow them to survive in today’s workforce. Begin looking within yourself at what you enjoy and start developing marketable skills. You can start by taking night classes at a local community college, or taking courses online.

According to reports from the Social Science Research Center most women who divorce see their standard of living decrease by 27% after a divorce. That is a tough reality but you must keep in mind this is temporary. “After a divorce” is not a permanent season in your life. What you do to minimize your monthly expenses and increase you income during this time is very important. The first key is eliminating as much debt as possible before, or immediately after the divorce as possible. A study from the Federal Reserve Board Survey of Consumer Finances found that the median amount of credit card debt for women who are divorced is $1900. Those minimum monthly payments of $90 may end up being the difference of you making it each month, or struggling to keep your head above water. Even if you are driving a car you love, you may consider selling it, or trading it in on a less expensive car without a payment to again reduce your expenses.

The key thing to remember in this juncture in your life is that this is just a transition time in your life. A transition is when you leave from one place and begin the process of moving to another. Your income will increase, you will possibly meet someone else to help you through, but the static’s say that 80% of women die single and that 56% of those women are afraid of learning about personal finances because it seems to complicated. (Kind of depressing I know) Either way married or divorced, as a woman you will most likely be on your own financially at some point in your life. You need to begin the process today of educating yourself regarding personal finances to ensure your own well being and to continue the process of taking control of your life.

For further information on how I found myself in debt and how we took control of our lives financially visit my site at http://middleclassdream.wordpress.com/

My Little Angel

What a crazy week.  I did not think that the weekend was ever going to get here.  I tell you when it rains it pours.  It is very easy to let the little things stress you out and cause you to have a bad day or a few bad days in a row.  I hate the feeling of being defeated or overwhelmed.  This is my weekend with my daughter and there is no way to be stressed out or in a bad mood.  When I picked her up from school today she saw me and ran up to me and gave me a big hug.  She is my pride and joy and I love her with all my heart.  She is the reason that I am doing my blog.  I want to be the best I can be for her.  There is nothing better in my day than to see her big smile.  I will always be thankful to my ex-husband for giving me the gift of Alexa.  She is my world and my little angel and I would do anything for her.  It is scary that children grow up so fast.  You must take it all in and enjoy all the little moments.  Everyday she learns something new that just amazes me.  Just this week she has started to call me Mom and not mommy anymore.  I was a little sad to be honest.  Where has my little baby gone.  Well, I am being called now so I will write again after bedtime.  We are going to watch Shrek and eat pizza.  So until next time.  Don’t let life pass you by.

Do You Get Your Daily Dose

It is very hard to get the 5-10 needed servings of fruits and vegetables everyday. Most people do not ever come close to getting the amounts they need. In times of stress or illness your body needs more of these vital nutrients to keep you healthy. A well balanced diet is the best way to get all the vitamins and minerals  your body needs to be strong and healthy, but unfortunately life tends to get in the way. So then, the next best thing is to take a vitamin that will supplement your diet for you. Many people take multi-vitamins. You go to the store and get brands like Centrum or the Women’s One A Day. What you do not know is they are synthetic, which means they were made in a lab. The vitamin was made during many different chemical processes. There is no research showing these vitamins are harmful to you but you might as well not take anything. Now you may be asking, what do I take then? The answer is to take a whole food supplement. These are just what they seem to be.   Vitamins made from real food so they break down in your body like food and you get all the nutrients you need from them. Yes, they may be more expensive.  But you get what you pay for. Would you buy a car for $1000 just because it is cheaper if it did not run?  No you wouldn’t. So why would you then buy a vitamin that did nothing for you. The best whole food vitamin that I have found, and I take myself, is by Prograde. Their VGF 25+ for women is a great way to get all 10 servings of fruits, greens, and vegetables that you need in a day with no-hassle.  VGF25+ is a whole foods multi that provides all your essential vitamins and minerals coming from 25 fruits, vegetables and greens.  This isn’t a synthetic pill that your body has to try and digest.  You are getting these nutrients from 25 real foods.  The benefit of 25 whole fruits, vegetables and greens is that your body will absorb and utilize these nutrients efficiently so that your metabolism can run at peak efficiency and burn more calories for weight loss.   Do not wait, get yours today and see for yourself the difference it will make in the way you feel. Visit kellyluedke@getprograde.com for more information on this supplement line. It is the best and there is a 100% money back guarantee.

Staying Safe Walking from your Car

I hope that all of you got a lot out of the first two blog from my mother, my self defense guru. Here is another great post on the importance of staying safe and keeping aware while walking to and from your car in parking lots. I hope you enjoy.

How many of us go to Wal-Mart, park the car, get out, walk in and a few minutes later, have no recollection of any of it, especially where we parked? I was waiting for someone one time in a parking lot and I thought it would be interesting to people watch. I watched mostly women to see how they behaved while walking. Most of them had no clue! They walked with head down, no keys in hand, paying no attention to what is happening around them. So those are some of what-not-to-do things. Let’s talk about better alternatives. The first thing I do is park in the same aisle every time. This takes away the confusion when you leave the store. You do this a few times, and automatically you head in the direction of your car. On your way to the car, you should have your keys in your hand. Don’t intertwine the keys between your fingers though. If you do that and hit someone, your hand will hurt more than the bad guy will hurt. Just keep your car key ready to use. That key, by itself, is a good weapon. Pay attention to who is parked around you. If you see someone out of place (in other words, a guy is sitting in the car next to you and he seems to be fidgety, sweating, looking all around him) you might want to go back into the store and wait for him to leave.

More on parking lot security later. Have a safe day!

Life is too Short

Life is way too short to be unhappy. You live longer once you realize that any time spent unhappy is wasted. I got some bad news last week.  My uncle past away on Monday from a massive heart attack. He was only 59. It made me take a step back and think about all the things in my life that I take for granted and all the things in my life that I have put on hold because I have been too busy to get to them. I can’t stress enough that you only get one life to live and to make sure that you live to the fullest. One of my favorite quotes by Abraham Lincoln reads, “and in the end, it not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years.”  You never know when your time will be up. You have to life for today not yesterday nor tomorrow. You never want to have to “what if”. Follow your dreams and make sure that you tell the ones that you love just how you feel about them. Never be afraid to show someone how you feel because you might not get the chance later. I have made a vow to never go to bed without saying I love you to my daughter and giving her a kiss goodnight. I always say I love you to my family when I get off the phone with them. We are all very close and I never what them to doubt the way I feel. Turning 30 this year has been a big change for me. I am not getting any younger and I want to make sure that I have no regrets when my time is up. I have dreams to fulfill, adventures to go on, and many memories to make.

Protecting Against Identity Theft

Identity theft has become a real problem today.  It is so easy for people to get your information from your e-mail and even people going through your trash that you put out.  You can never be too careful and make sure you take all the precautions that you need.  This is your life and you have to be aware of all the people that will try to take advantage of you.  The most common scam is known as e-mail phishing.  The e-mail will ask for passwords, usernames, credit card numbers, etc.  Here are some simple things to do to avoid identity theft while using the computer.

 

ü     Never open a link that comes to you in e-mail.  You don’t know where that link will take you.

ü     Always sign out of your bank accounts, etc., when you’re finished especially if you are using a public computer.

ü     Never respond to e-mails asking for personal information.

ü     Do not open e-mail from unknown users.

ü     Turn your computer off when you’re finished using it.

 Using these few tips will help to make sure that you are protected; so make sure that you always pay attention, you are aware, and don’t let your guard down!

Benefits of Exercise

Now that you have decided to stop making excuses for not working out and you have started exercising, I will give you some great benefits for staying active. If these are not enough reasons for you to keep working out, the fact that you feel better about yourself should. Not to mention your ex is going to be kicking himself because of how good you are going to look. Here are the Mayo Clinic’s top 6 benefits to exercise: 

† Exercise improves your mood. Exercise stimulates various brain chemicals, which may leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out. You’ll also look better and feel better when you exercise regularly, which can boost your confidence and improve your self-esteem. Exercise even reduces feelings of depression and anxiety.

† Exercise helps combat chronic diseases. Regular exercise can help manage or prevent high blood pressure. Regular exercise boosts “good,” cholesterol while decreasing “bad,” cholesterol. This combination keeps your blood flowing smoothly by lowering the buildup of plaques in your arteries. Regular exercise can also help you prevent type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis and certain types of cancer.

† Exercise helps you manage your weight. Want to drop those excess pounds? Trade some couch time for walking or other physical activities.  When you exercise, you burn calories. The more intensely you exercise, the more calories you burn; and the easier it is to keep your weight under control. You don’t even need to set aside major chunks of time for working out. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Walk during your lunch break. Do jumping jacks during commercials. Better yet, turn off the TV and take a brisk walk. Dedicated workouts are great, but activity you accumulate throughout the day helps you burn calories, too.

† Exercise strengthens your heart and lungs.  Do you get winded by grocery shopping or household chores? Don’t give in that easy. Regular exercise can leave you breathing easier. Exercise delivers oxygen and nutrients to your tissues. In fact, regular exercise helps your entire cardiovascular system work more efficiently. When your heart and lungs work more efficiently, you’ll have more energy to do the things you enjoy.

† Exercise promotes better sleep. Struggling to fall asleep? Or stay asleep? It might help to boost your physical activity during the day. A good night’s sleep can improve your concentration, productivity and mood.  Exercise is sometimes the key to better sleep. Regular exercise can help you fall asleep faster and deepen your sleep.   If you’re having trouble sleeping, you might want to try late afternoon workouts. The natural dip in body temperature five to six hours after you exercise might help you fall asleep.

† Exercise can put the spark back into your sex life. Are you too tired to have sex? Or feeling too out of shape to enjoy physical intimacy? Exercise to the rescue. Regular exercise can leave you feeling energized and looking better, which may have a positive effect on your sex life. But there’s more to it than that. Exercise improves your circulation, which can lead to more satisfying sex.

Exercise can be fun! Wondering what to do on a Saturday afternoon? Looking for an activity that suits the entire family? Get physical! Exercise doesn’t have to be drudgery. Take a ballroom dancing class. Check out a local climbing wall or hiking trail. Push your kids on the swings or climb with them on the jungle gym. Plan a neighborhood kickball or touch football game. Find an activity you enjoy, and go for it. If you get bored, try something new. If you’re moving, it counts!

No More Excuses

If you look in the mirror and you do not like what you see but you keep making excuses for not working out, it is time to stop all the excuses and get into the gym or just get active.  Some common excuses for not exercising are:

† I do not have time. This is one of the worst excuses for not working out. Everyone has time with the new and improved ways to workout.  It only takes 15 to get a really good workout. So time is not an excuses.  You can always find time. Wake up 30 minutes early and go for a run or workout on your lunch break.

† I am too tired after work. So go to the gym before work and get it done.  Then you do not have to worry about how you feel after work. Take your workout clothes with you to work and change before you go home. If you exercise at home still change so you do not get distracted once you get home and go straight to your workout area at home and get started.

† I do not know what I am doing or you have fear of the gym. Get a personal trainer to workout with you. If you can’t afford one most gyms with give you a few session to get you started with any new gym membership. Look in the phone book if you workout at home and have an in home trainer come in to set up a program for you.

† You do not have the money to go to a gym. So workout at home.  It does not cost very much to get a workout DVD or some exercise bands that you can workout with right in your own home.

So there is not better time to start working out than now. You are making positive changes in your life right now so why not start with the way you feel about yourself. So stop the excuses and get off your butt and get yourself active.

Staying Safe Without Him

One of my biggest concerns after I got divorced was making sure that my daughter and I would be safe.  I have to say that there is no better than my mother to help me with this issue that I had.  She has been studying Martial Arts for 23 years and teaching self defense for almost that many years.  She has always told me that self-defense is mostly little things you can do to protect yourself and your children.  So I had her write this next blog post for me. 

Let’s start with the basic stuff.  I like to think of self-defense like an onion (not the crying part!) but the layer part.  The more layers you have surrounding you, the better.  At home you should:

1. Lock doors and windows at night.

2.  Have a well-lit porch or entryway.

3.  Keep shrubs and flowers around house trimmed so they don’t cover windows or are large enough for a person to hide.

4.  Plant some shrubs with thorns to deter bad people from hiding there.

5.  Make sure if you are coming home after dark, turn a light on before you go or have a timed light that will come on before you get home.

6.  If you can afford it, get a security system.  Sometimes just having a security sign in the window is enough to deter.  I have an OnStar sign in my car window, but I don’t pay for the OnStar coverage anymore.  The bad guy doesn’t know that!  The bad guy will go find a car without a security sticker, just in case!

7.  Get to know you neighbors.  You may need to depend on them sometime.

I’ll talk more later about staying secure and safe at home, in the car, walking, in hotels, etc.  If you want specifics, just ask!  Have a safe day!

Thanks mom you’re the best.  If you have any questions for her please let me know.

Your Happiness is up to you.

Today I was talking with one of my training clients and we were talking about being happy in a marriage or any relationship.  She was telling me that her parents, a few years ago, were going through some rough times.  She noted that her mom was always relying on her dad for happiness.  I have seen many of my female friends and guy friends, for that matter, think the same way.  They rely way too much on their partner to make them happy.  It is hard enough to make yourself happy, and then to have the responsibility to make someone else happy is  too much to put on anyone.  You have to be in control of your own life and happiness.  No one can make you happy but yourself. I am not saying that while in a relationship your significant does not do things for you that make you happy. There will be many times when what they do for you gives you the happiness that you need, but your ultimate happiness comes from within. It should never be the responsibility of someone else to make you happy it will not work. Only you truly know what makes your life worth living. You have to find your passions in life. What makes you tick?  What gives you the desire to wake up every morning?  What puts that smile on your face? Happiness is very infectious. Do not waste one more minute of your life being any other way but happy.